yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
