ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
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