i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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