I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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