I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
