Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
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THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
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Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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