So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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