Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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