My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize