i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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