Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
