i permit you to call me
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
i think i just naturally attract stoners
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
