My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Randomize
