I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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