Ambien. No doubt about it.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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