No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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