Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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