we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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