Your tits are I can't wait for
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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