It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
That was before I lit my hair on fire
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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