im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
