i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
