elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
