Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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