apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
