mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.