Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
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Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I don't deserve a penis
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
why is half of my head shaved?
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