i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
