Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
