Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
