just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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