everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
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my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
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Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine