DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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