we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
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i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
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I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.