You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny