Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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