My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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