'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
