Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
