it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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