she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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