I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
