I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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