12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
