DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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