she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
So gin and wine won't be happening again
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize