yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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