I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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