i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
