sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
