I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
