Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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