I hate all girls vehemently.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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