I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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