I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
