Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
