At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
