So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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