Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
