you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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