I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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