Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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