White coat. Heels.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
