I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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